Saturday, November 19, 2011

LET THE HOLIDAY WARS BEGIN!!


Every year hubby and I swear to each other that we won’t exchange gifts.  Every year we both lie. This year will be no different and the battles have already begun.

Round One:

Hubby grins across the living room and says, “Just so you know, on Christmas morning, I’m probably gonna be in trouble.”

“What have you done?” was my immediate response. My inner Christmas-Giving-Beast whispered, “Ye know what he’s done, m’precious.” Yeah. I know. My inner Christmas-Giving-Beast sounds like a cross between Gollum from the LORD OF THE RINGS and Connor MacLeod from the movie HIGHLANDER

I narrow my eyes at my gloating husband and prod again. “Answer me. What have you done and which kid helped you.”

Hubby’s smile widens. “I’m not tellin’.”
Round Two: 

After interrogating both daughters, I force…er…enlist the oldest one into my ranks. After all, I’m a woman. We’re not even until I’m ahead. I make three purchases and have the items shipped to her house.

Round Three:

Hubby overhears phone conversation with oldest daughter and returns fire. Three unexplained debits show up on our bank account. Grrr…

Round Four:

Smaller purchase for Hubby arrives at the house –while he’s home. Curses! Foiled by customer service folk who refuse to listen to explicit instructions.

Round Five:

Arrive home from work to a suspiciously gloating husband. Christmas music is floating through the house and it’s not even Thanksgiving. He points me to the top of the china cabinet with a laughing, “Look what I did” smirk. Grumble…grumble…This isn’t over. This is just November. I will. Not. Lose!
 May you all be winners in your everyday battles. 
May you all overcome your adversaries and know the priceless joys of health, happiness and love!