1. Law of Mechanical
Repair - After your hands are fully coated with grease, your nose itches
and you need to pee.
2. Law of Gravity
- Any tool, nut, bolt, or screw dropped, rolls to the least accessible corner.
3. Law of Probability-
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of what
you are currently doing.
4. Law of Random
Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone
always answers.
5. Supermarket Law
- As soon as you get in the smallest line, the cashier calls for help.
6. Variation Law -
If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move
faster than the one you are in now
7. Law of the Bath
- When the body is fully immersed in water, the phone rings.
8. Law of Close
Encounters - The probability of meeting someone you know increases
dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
9. Law of the Result
- When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.
10. Law of
Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the
reach.
11. Law of the
Theater.- At any event, the people whose seats are farthest from the aisle,
always arrive last. They are the ones who leave their seats several times for
food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance.
The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs
or big bellies and stay to the bitter end of the performance. (I can say this
because I’m an ‘aisle seat’ kinda person.)
12. The Coffee Law
- As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your spouse will ask you to
do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
13. Murphy's Law of
Lockers - If there are only 2 people in a locker room, they will have
adjacent lockers.
14. Law of Physical
Surfaces - The chances of an open-faced jam sandwich landing face down on a
floor, are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.
15. Law of Logical
Argument- Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about
16. Law of Physical
Appearance - If the clothes fit, they're ugly.
17. Law of Public
Speaking - A closed mouth gathers no feet.
18. Law of Commercial
Marketing -As soon as you find a product that you really like, they stop
making it.
19. Doctors' Law-
If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time
you get there you'll feel better.. But don't make an appointment, and you'll
stay sick.
A friend emailed these "laws" to me. Got any you'd like to add? ;-)
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