Saturday, August 18, 2012

The dialogue of planning a wedding…

Next month, my oldest daughter marries the man of her dreams. He proposed to her last December. Since then, some very interesting bits of conversation have surfaced while we’ve traveled (survived) the path of planning for the big day. By the way, this child of mine is by nature the very detail oriented, almost obsessive compulsive organizer of all things. Yes. Wedding planning has propelled her strategizing to frightening new heights.

Conversation between just engaged future son-in-law (FSIL) and his mother:

FSIL: *bragging voice* “I don’t have to worry about her turning into some sort of bridezilla, Mom. You know how level-headed she is. Everything will be fine.”

FSIL’s Mom: *knowing smile toward her poor deluded son* “Whatever you say, dear. I just don’t think you realize how important this day is in a girl’s life. It’s a day they all dream about.”

Three days later FSIL calls his mom, whispering into the phone while hiding in a safe place.

FSIL: *panicked whisper* “Mom. We have wedding books. Lots of them.”

FSIL’s Mom: *stifled giggle* “Really?”

FSIL: “And binders. And magazines. And a folder with dates. And an appointment with a wedding planner.”

FSIL’s Mom: “That’s nice, honey.” *knowing chortle*

Conversation between daughter (Bride-to-Be or B2B) and her younger sister (Matron of Honor or MoH) and me (Me) during the FIRST wedding party dress fittings. (Yes. There is never just one fitting.):

B2B: *determined, chiding tone* “If you don’t suck it in, I’ll never get it zipped.”

MoH: *teeth clenched about to kill her sister tone* “It’s my freakin’ rib case. If I suck in more air, it’ll just get bigger!”

B2B: *exasperated huff* “Then blow it out and don’t breathe any more ‘til I tell you.”

MoH: No reply. Just looks at me in the mirror with a “you better do something or I’m going to be an only child” glare.

Me: “Maybe we need to try a different style?”

They didn’t kill each other and here’s an iPhone shot of the lovely Matron of Honor.
Granddaughter is going to be a junior bride’s maid. As long as she got to twirl in front of all the “magic mirrors” as she called them, she was happy.

Conversation between daughter (B2B) and hubby (Father-of-the-bride or FOB):

B2B: *threatening I-have-been-pushed too far tone* “You are NOT wearing your kilt to my wedding!”

FOB: *amused that he’s miffed his daughter tone* “Why not?”

B2B: “It clashes with my colors.”

Me: I don’t say a word, just give Hubby the “look” signaling I have heard enough of him pestering B2B.

FOB: *resigned tone* “Fine. I’ll wear the damn tux.” *brighter tone* “But I’m wearing my kilt to the rehearsal dinner and the reception!”

B2B: *knows she doomed so dismisses him with a wave* “Fine.”

Conversation between B2B and myself.

B2B: *strained patient tone she always uses when she’s ready to launch into a lecture* “Mom. Have you found your dress yet?”

Me: *Living with hubby for thirty-three has ruined me. I can’t resist teasing her just a bit.* “I’ve decided I’m wearing nothing but my pearls.”

B2B: No reply just a stony stare.

Here’s the dress SHE picked out for me since I’m only an expert on jeans.

Conversation between B2B, MoH and myself in the shoe store.

B2B to me: “Here. These shoes will look great.”

Me: “I don’t want any heels. I’ll break my neck.”

B2B: “You can’t wear flats with that dress. Try these on.”

Me: “They hurt my feet.”

B2B: “Can you walk in them?”

Me: *sullen tone* “Yes.”

B2B: “Just wear them to the wedding and for a little while at the reception.”

MoH: “I like them.”

Me to MoH: “The wicked things are yours after September 22nd.”

MoH: “Sweet!”

Here’s the wicked shoes AND the comfortable pair I’ll be changing into once I’m given permission.

Most recent conversation (text messages) between myself and bridezilla…er…B2B:

Me: “How many days?”

B2B: “35.”

Me: “Holy crap!”

B2B: “I know! I’m about to hit ultimate freakout.”

Me: “Yes. We know.”

**Disclaimer: Bride-to-be is normally a very patient, loving soul. We all look forward to a return to her usual fun-loving personality once “demon planning bridezilla” is successfully exorcised on September 22nd


  1. Maeve, you can tell your daughter to relax ~ September 22 is a magical date for lovely weddings and solid marriages. My hubby and I will be celebrating 22 years together on that very date.
    Best of luck to you all! :)

    1. That's DEFINITELY a good sign, Cynthia! I'll be sure to pass along your words. :-)

  2. Your granddaughter has the right attitude. And a little child shall lead them...Enjoy!

  3. I am smiling here, Maeve. You will survive this and it will turnout to be a wonderful, memorable day. Just add sewing the wedding dress with long train and making the wedding cake to the mix... And, my daughter survived. :)

    Can't wait to see the photos.

    1. Oh my, Paisley. I can't imagine adding THOSE to the mix. I admire you! I'm sure we'll all survive and cherish all these memories.

      I'll be sure and share the photo's with my cyber-family and friends! :-)

  4. Neat post. Weddings are so exciting. Congrats!

    1. Thanks, Lisa! Needless to say, we're looking forward to the big day. :-)

  5. I love your second choice of shoes! Ahh, flip-flops with bling!

    1. LOL! Gotta have bling for the bid day, Gerri. ;-)

  6. Wishing you all the best, Maeve. My two are already married *big sigh of relief*

    1. This will be the last one we have walking down the aisle. I'll be happy once the loving couple is married and all the chaos is over! :-)

  7. Maeve,
    You put a big smile on my face! Thanks for sharing all the photos and fun tidbits about your daughters upcoming wedding. Congrats to all!

  8. OMG Maeve, too funny! Good luck. It will be lovely.

  9. Oh, how funny. I made my daughter's wedding gown and veil. I also made my MOB dress (Mother of the Bride). I wanted to make the wedding cake but then FOB broke in and asked me if I needed my head examined.

    "Okay, okay," I replied, I'll try to find someone who'll do precisely what I want. Miracles never cease--I did! It was beautiful and actually tasted like something you'd really want to eat...along with ice cream. (Why didn't I think of that sooner???)

    I also had guests coming from out of town--so out of town they needed passports from the UK to enter the country. Other scattered family soon arrived from around the US. They all needed hostessing. Just what you need on such a day.

    I didn't finish hemming my dress and the sleeves to the jacket until late the morning of the BIG DAY.

    Everything went beautifully--including my daughter who didn't stay out past curfew the night before the wedding, forcing FOB to ground her. (Hahahaha...)

    1. My goodness, Cate!! You're a regular dynamo. I wish I had your energy and creativity. I bet the wedding was gorgeous! :)

  10. I don't know how I missed this post. VERY FUNNY. Oh, the joys of wedding planning... Take a ton of pics!

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