Saturday, November 19, 2011

LET THE HOLIDAY WARS BEGIN!!


Every year hubby and I swear to each other that we won’t exchange gifts.  Every year we both lie. This year will be no different and the battles have already begun.

Round One:

Hubby grins across the living room and says, “Just so you know, on Christmas morning, I’m probably gonna be in trouble.”

“What have you done?” was my immediate response. My inner Christmas-Giving-Beast whispered, “Ye know what he’s done, m’precious.” Yeah. I know. My inner Christmas-Giving-Beast sounds like a cross between Gollum from the LORD OF THE RINGS and Connor MacLeod from the movie HIGHLANDER

I narrow my eyes at my gloating husband and prod again. “Answer me. What have you done and which kid helped you.”

Hubby’s smile widens. “I’m not tellin’.”
Round Two: 

After interrogating both daughters, I force…er…enlist the oldest one into my ranks. After all, I’m a woman. We’re not even until I’m ahead. I make three purchases and have the items shipped to her house.

Round Three:

Hubby overhears phone conversation with oldest daughter and returns fire. Three unexplained debits show up on our bank account. Grrr…

Round Four:

Smaller purchase for Hubby arrives at the house –while he’s home. Curses! Foiled by customer service folk who refuse to listen to explicit instructions.

Round Five:

Arrive home from work to a suspiciously gloating husband. Christmas music is floating through the house and it’s not even Thanksgiving. He points me to the top of the china cabinet with a laughing, “Look what I did” smirk. Grumble…grumble…This isn’t over. This is just November. I will. Not. Lose!
 May you all be winners in your everyday battles. 
May you all overcome your adversaries and know the priceless joys of health, happiness and love!

24 comments:

  1. Ooh this sounds like tons of fun! Are these real gifts or funny gag gifts?

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  2. I would love to be a fly on a wall in your house, Maeve. It sounds like a place full of love and fun. How wonderful to live like that. I am pulling for you to be No. 1.

    Love, love, love the photo of Miz Chloe. What an absolute darling, but you already knew that! :)

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  3. Love this blog post! Christmas is TOO close. But...I could be a winner Christmas morning if you tell me where you got the kilt apron!!!

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  4. LOL! Thanks Mary! I'm gonna need all the help I can get.

    They're usually a mixture, Vonda. Some very NICE gifts and usually one or two that are just down right silly! ;-)

    Hahaha! Thanks so much, Paisley. And yes - you're right. There's NEVER a dull minute.

    I'll do my best to remember where we got that kilt apron, Nancy. We either ordered it out of one of the bazillion catalogs we always get or we found it in one of the gift shops while in Scotland.

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  5. Thanks, Margie! The holidays are always pretty adventurous around here. ;-)

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  6. This came at the perfect time. I thought I won Round One. DH came back and won Round Two and Three. Grr... I'm with ya. They are sneaky, sneaky. Frankly, I don't think you're going to be able to top the Maeve Mobile. I'd give up trying.

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  7. LOL! Never say die, Victoria - NEVER!!!

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  8. What the flies must think on your walls! (Yes I realize that's a hanging participle, I'm practicing recognizing the buggers.)

    I agree with Victoria. That Maeve Mobile is pretty hard to top.

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  9. Too funny. Sounds like a lot of fun...and scheming...and one-up-manship. Go, girl, go!!

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  10. Ha! I agree too, Calisa. I don't think I'd ever be able to top the Maeve Mobile!

    I'm gonna win, Vonnie!!! I'm determined. ;-)

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  11. Christmas wars - what a unique way of putting the secretive gift buying experience. How funny!

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  12. Sounds like lots of fun to me, and I love your description. I could see a sit-com episode titled Christmas Wars.

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  13. This sounds so familiar. lol! My husband and I agree EVERY year. No gifts. We'll spend money on a major necessity and call it Christmas. And every year, there is always one or ten gifts under the tree where neither of us kept our word.

    This year's major purchase: Hubby's 1991 Ford F 150 he inherited from his Dad. He'll NEVER sell it or trade it. And it's been in bad shape for a couple years now. So, I spent $502 on a tune up, new timing chain, gaskets, and other stuff I don't understand. Then I watched a You Tube Video on how to remove/install a Ford door panel and spent 2 hours fixing his door panel that had come loose. I told him: "That's it. This is both our Christmas gifts. You don't buy me anything and I won't buy you anything."

    He said: "Deal. We don't have the money anyway."

    It was a lie. I already wrapped and hid two gifts for him, and I'm sure there'll be something under the tree for me.

    Don't you just love Christmas?

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  14. LOL Marianne! At our house, there's so much strategic planning to guarantee surprises on Christmas morning, it's like a bunch of generals plotting battle plans.

    Ha! It would make good Christmas special, Shelley.

    Where would we be without our real life heroes, Lilly? Isn't it fun plotting surprises?

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  15. sounds like a ton of fun. I do the same thing with my adult children --- lol

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  16. Absolutely, Louise! That's what the holidays are all about.
    :-)

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  17. LOL, that is so funny. Sometimes hubby and I have our little Skirmishes too, but I usually fuss at how much he spends on me. *eye roll*

    Love your header and the apron on your hubby. *grin*

    Janice~

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  18. Thanks Janice! There's nothing like a good skirmish during the holidays to get your blood moving. ;-)

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  19. What a hoot. I enjoyed my visit into your robust household. May you win out.

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  20. LOL! Thanks Beth. I'll keep you posted. ;-)

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  21. What happened? It's after Christmas and you didn't post who won.

    Janice~

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  22. LOL! I think we both graciously agreed to call it a tie, Janice. You know - keep the peace during the holidays and all. ;-) (But I think I REALLY won - tee hee)

    This Christmas was absolutely wonderful because the house rang with laughter until late into the night.

    I hope your holiday season was just as blessed and that your new year is filled with happiness too! :-)

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